Friday, September 16, 2016

Always running

There was a fortune cookie that read, "Romance and travel will go together."  I sighed in relief.  In the past 5 years I've quit many jobs to travel.  Many friends pressure me to go to school or take up a career.  Be more romantic and shit. So I feel torn.  I love my friends and value their opinions, but traveling really makes me happy.  So the sigh was at a thought of being able to travel all over and still stay close with the people who are close to my heart. 
I was reading the blog of someone whose journey makes me feel far less different in my own. They were talking about dating themselves. That post inspired me to write more honestly.  I stopped dating a long time ago. I started feeling that there is no one loyal out there and stopped letting myself care about those types of feelings.  Sure it may be an illegitimate (no pun intended) way to feel, but feelings remain. 
There is more to it though. Dating myself became very enjoyable.  Rather than structure my life around one other person. I could roam freely. I began hobbies and started making tons of friends.  And yes, I started to learn about who I really was. What I like and what makes me happy.  I wouldn't shower for days and stopped worrying about how other people view me. The most genuine people I've met started crawling out of the woodwork.
I began learning to see behavioral patterns and could avoid counter-productive relationships much sooner.  So the journey of finding myself became rewarding. The world became a much smaller place.  Because even though I'd never met certain people I could spot their intentions quickly.
This is sorta just a ramble, it feels nice to write out

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